On Her Own

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Little boxes all the same

“Good girls don’t…” We’re all familiar with the stereotypes, and the social conditioning that creates and reinforces the behaviors that make up those stereotypes. They’re not limited to gender roles, though, and today I’m thinking about how similar types of stereotypes and conditioning can affect other groups, sometimes subjecting individuals to even more outside forces

You are allowed to ask for help

For those of us who have had to or are making it on our own, we’re used to having to dig in and get things done by ourselves. We might not like it, but there’s often no other choice. There’s nobody to rely on, so for better or worse, we figure out how to handle

Your weekend assignment

How are you all doing? I’m tired, folks. There’s been a lot going on in the world these last couple of days, weeks, months, and years. All of us have been affected on every level, from individual to global, with some events affecting only us and some events affecting more of the world. Many of

Changing the stories you tell yourself, part 2

Part of the conversation I had with Lee Weems last week on his podcast made me think about how context and experience are such strong factors in shaping our perceptions. Where we come from naturally has a lot of influence on how we see the world. Our background is what makes us who we are,

How to change the stories you tell yourself

A few months ago, I pondered with you the stories we tell ourselves about who we are, and how it turns out so many of them aren’t or don’t have to be true after all. Identifying them is one thing, but changing them is another thing entirely. Nevertheless, it can be important – even vital

On life and risk

Life is dangerous. We all do things that risk our lives, our health, our finances, our hearts. Even those of us who try to prioritize safety above all else occasionally have to stick our heads out the door. As for the rest of us, well, adrenaline is the spice of life. They can be little

Maybe it’s time for a new one?

I bought a new mouse this week. My old one was working perfectly fine, though I was getting frustrated with how often its batteries died. It turns out that in the years since I’d bought that perfectly nice old one, mice have acquired all sorts of new features as standard, and have longer battery lives

Self-care: the little things

I have a confession to make. Maybe you can identify. My self-care is taking a hit. I’m not talking about the big things like working out or going to therapy, and I’m not talking about the indulgences we call self-care but don’t really address our true needs or future selves. I’m talking about the little

Fire safety basics for your home

A fire swept through a converted rowhouse in Philadelphia on Wednesday. A dozen people died, more than half of them children. It’s one of the worst residential fires in living memory, both in Philadelphia and across the United States. We don’t yet know exactly why or how, and with this fresh of a tragedy, that

The mystery of beauty

Beauty is a mysterious thing. We know it when we see it, but most of us can’t when it’s familiar to us and perhaps especially so when it’s closest to home in our own faces and bodies. It’s something I struggle with, and I’m betting many of you do as well. It’s important to learn

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