On Her Own


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Safe sexting [updated July 2022]

One of the keys to thriving on your own is to be willing to continually revisit and update your knowledge and skills. Just because you learned them once doesn’t mean you remember them now, or that there aren’t newer and better ways of thinking and doing. While we go back to some of the same

How to tell if someone is a good guy or a bad guy

You may have seen that I’ve been posting short “lessons learned” drawn directly from news snippets that I run across on a regular basis. They’re real-world illustrations of the topics I discuss at length here at OHO, meant to give you short and simple reminders to help you stay safe every day. Often, you’ll see

But we are not less

Independence Day is a special day, here at On Her Own. While you may be here for a whole host of reasons, the core of OHO has always been finding ways to survive and thrive as women who are independent from the normal relationships society assumes for us. Whether by choice or by circumstance, for

How to perform a root cause analysis, and why

When something, anything, bad happens, it’s easy to attribute it to the most obvious and direct cause. A car crash because someone ran a red light. A skinned knee because you fell. A broken window because a kid threw a ball. Addressing those causes can be a quick fix. Punish the driver who ran the

Responsibility, connection, and meaning

What are you responsible for in life? Who are you responsible to and for? While this is On Her Own, where many of us don’t have the normal relationships most folks expect, that doesn’t mean we exist in total isolation because some of us are caretakers for children or other adults. Sometimes, though, it really

The power of apology

A video has been floating around this week, of a man who was shot by his neighbor in a parking lot outside their homes. He was being dropped off by a friend and coworker, who had pulled his truck into the neighbor’s assigned parking spot. As his wife came out with their newborn infant to

Will you be my friend?

This past weekend, CCWSafe brought together a group of people from within the firearms and self-defense industry, and I was lucky enough to be invited. It’s always a little intimidating, going to events like this, and wondering if you’ll know anybody there and whether you’ll feel like you belong. You have probably experienced similar as

The power of “looks like”

One of the really neat things about walking around Tac-Con this year was seeing the increase in diversity. It’s not that I’ve ever felt unwelcome in that crowd; quite the contrary, really. Showing up, participating, and trying were all that were required to be included – enthusiastically and with genuine camaraderie, even brotherhood and sisterhood.

Family of choice

One of the features of being on our own is that we might not have traditional families surrounding us. It might be a result of something so simple as moving away from home, to a new city or state. It might be the result of something as painful and difficult as divorce, death, estrangement, or

Love is all the why we need

It’s Valentine’s Day, traditionally a day of celebrating romantic love and coupledom. That makes it a tough day for some of us, who aren’t spending it with a partner for any of a number of reasons. So instead, or in addition, I’d like to think about and celebrate other loves in our lives. The ancient

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