On Her Own


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Who else needs to worry when an ex goes crazy?

Crazy ex-partners. Sometimes, they suffer with inward-directed sadness and depression, hard to watch but generally harmless. Other times, they begin to turn insistent, even violent. Texts and phone calls that won’t end are one thing, but it gets much scarier when the ex starts showing up unexpectedly or starts making threats. They might want to

Relationship red flags: A primer

One of the scariest parts of dating, online or not, is the possibility that you might meet someone who will ruin your life, and not necessarily in the “my heart is broken” kind of way. We don’t always think about it, though, because the vulnerability that comes with opening up your heart and life to

Memento mori: for Jerry

Part of the mission of On Her Own is to compassionately witness the bad things that happen to people, and to honor their pain and loss by learning from their experiences. Sometimes, that means taking a look at their actions that may have led to their death or injury, and understanding what they did well

After the storm

So how ‘bout that rain this week? A good chunk of the United States was hit by Hurricane Ida, causing enormous amounts of wind and water damage not just where it made landfall in Louisiana, but even over a thousand miles away in the mid-Atlantic and Northeast. Thousands of people, more, are picking up the

Be honest about the problem. Do the work.

A year ago today, the world lost Dr. William Aprill. In the self-defense community, we miss him as a scholar and teacher. I miss him as a mentor and friend. Regularly, I think of issues personal and professional that I want to discuss with him, get his take on, hear his encouragement about. I’ve been

The story of a blanket

Today, I am extra proud of my friend, Sara Westman of Kitfox Design Group. She’s launching pre-orders for a really neat project of hers: the Vietnam Throw. The Vietnam Throw combines her unique style of art with a personal passion and a unique manufacturing process where the design is woven into the blanket itself on

Independence Day

Here in the United States, we are celebrating the Fourth of July this weekend. It’s the anniversary of the day the American colonies declared that they were no longer willing to accept England’s power over them. For most of us, it’s something like a barbecue or picnic, some fireworks, maybe a day off work and

And we shall know them by how they react

This meme is about feminism and misogyny; this post is not. Instead, I want to talk about the idea of looking at how someone reacts when something isn’t going their way, and what it means for your relationship with them. It’s easy to be happy, friendly, and kind with someone who is agreeable. In fact,

Easy money come, easy money go

Last month, we met SW from ND when they shared a number of safety tips learned from their sex work career but relevant to any of our lives when we decide to start spending intimate time with someone we don’t yet know well. There’s a piece of advice for just you that I held back,

Modern life; modern boundaries

Less than fifteen years ago, the iPhone took the world by a storm as one of the first smart phones to hit the market. It’s hard to believe we’ve only had tiny supercomputers attached to us for only that long, less than many of our adult lives. As mobile Internet has become more ubiquitous and

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