On Her Own

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On prioritizing safety and self-defense

Time is our most precious commodity. Once it’s gone, we can’t get it back. My friend, John Johnston (Citizens Defense Research), likes to tell students that when he teaches, and it’s both his gratitude for the time you’ve spent in class and a warning to spend your time wisely. It’s connected to that idea of

How to trick yourself into getting things done

Motivation can be hard sometimes, but there are still things that need to get done. We know that discipline is the answer, but what does that really look like? Sometimes you can just decide that you’re going to do the thing, just buckle down and churn out the results that you need. That’s sometimes presented

But we are not less

Independence Day is a special day, here at On Her Own. While you may be here for a whole host of reasons, the core of OHO has always been finding ways to survive and thrive as women who are independent from the normal relationships society assumes for us. Whether by choice or by circumstance, for

The Alpinist

Mountain climbers fascinate me, especially solo climbers, who pit themselves against nature with minimal equipment and support. When I watch them climb, I see individuals who face brutal conditions and survive, even thrive and feed off the triumph of overcoming them. They pursue goals that may seem meaningless to many of us, by working their

OHO takes a stand: reproductive health care matters

On Her Own does not, as a rule, take political positions. However, even casual readers can likely see that my priority is enabling women to live the lives that they desire, regardless of whether traditional support structures are behind her. Part of that is self-defense, including armed self-defense, because it is important to be able

Breaking biases

International Women’s Day was yesterday, and this year’s theme was #BreakTheBias – a call to action to work against gender discrimination and stereotyping. Many of the suggestions revolve around how we can call out discriminatory behavior resulting from bias and stereotyping, and how we can change people’s minds about women. Continuing from Monday’s theme, however,

You are allowed to ask for help

For those of us who have had to or are making it on our own, we’re used to having to dig in and get things done by ourselves. We might not like it, but there’s often no other choice. There’s nobody to rely on, so for better or worse, we figure out how to handle

Your weekend assignment

How are you all doing? I’m tired, folks. There’s been a lot going on in the world these last couple of days, weeks, months, and years. All of us have been affected on every level, from individual to global, with some events affecting only us and some events affecting more of the world. Many of

Changing the stories you tell yourself, part 2

Part of the conversation I had with Lee Weems last week on his podcast made me think about how context and experience are such strong factors in shaping our perceptions. Where we come from naturally has a lot of influence on how we see the world. Our background is what makes us who we are,

How to change the stories you tell yourself

A few months ago, I pondered with you the stories we tell ourselves about who we are, and how it turns out so many of them aren’t or don’t have to be true after all. Identifying them is one thing, but changing them is another thing entirely. Nevertheless, it can be important – even vital

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