On Her Own

Self-Care

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You are allowed to ask for help

For those of us who have had to or are making it on our own, we’re used to having to dig in and get things done by ourselves. We might not like it, but there’s often no other choice. There’s nobody to rely on, so for better or worse, we figure out how to handle

Your weekend assignment

How are you all doing? I’m tired, folks. There’s been a lot going on in the world these last couple of days, weeks, months, and years. All of us have been affected on every level, from individual to global, with some events affecting only us and some events affecting more of the world. Many of

Changing the stories you tell yourself, part 2

Part of the conversation I had with Lee Weems last week on his podcast made me think about how context and experience are such strong factors in shaping our perceptions. Where we come from naturally has a lot of influence on how we see the world. Our background is what makes us who we are,

How to change the stories you tell yourself

A few months ago, I pondered with you the stories we tell ourselves about who we are, and how it turns out so many of them aren’t or don’t have to be true after all. Identifying them is one thing, but changing them is another thing entirely. Nevertheless, it can be important – even vital

Love is all the why we need

It’s Valentine’s Day, traditionally a day of celebrating romantic love and coupledom. That makes it a tough day for some of us, who aren’t spending it with a partner for any of a number of reasons. So instead, or in addition, I’d like to think about and celebrate other loves in our lives. The ancient

How to give and receive unsolicited self-defense advice

On Her Own is very much about self-protection and the universal pursuit of safety and security, whatever that means to an individual. I believe strongly that we women have the agency and ability to defend ourselves. We might need support believing that we are worthy of protection in our most secret thoughts, and we will

Why lunch is important (and it’s not what you think)

I’d like to share with you something I’ve been cooking a lot lately but OHO is not going to become recipe blog, so I’m going to start with the recipe then tell you more about it: Fridge Clean-Out Scramble Omelet-ish Thing-A couple big handfuls of those sad salad greens in the bottom drawer of your

Maybe it’s time for a new one?

I bought a new mouse this week. My old one was working perfectly fine, though I was getting frustrated with how often its batteries died. It turns out that in the years since I’d bought that perfectly nice old one, mice have acquired all sorts of new features as standard, and have longer battery lives

Self-care: the little things

I have a confession to make. Maybe you can identify. My self-care is taking a hit. I’m not talking about the big things like working out or going to therapy, and I’m not talking about the indulgences we call self-care but don’t really address our true needs or future selves. I’m talking about the little

The mystery of beauty

Beauty is a mysterious thing. We know it when we see it, but most of us can’t when it’s familiar to us and perhaps especially so when it’s closest to home in our own faces and bodies. It’s something I struggle with, and I’m betting many of you do as well. It’s important to learn

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