On Her Own


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Is something better than nothing for self-defense?

Hey y’all – Apparently, wasp spray is a passionate topic for many of you, based on the response to Wednesday’s post. If you’re new around here because of it, welcome and I hope you stick around! There’s a particular point I mentioned in that post that I want to dig into a little bit more

Don’t use wasp spray for self-defense [updated June 2022]

Using wasp spray for self-defense is a persistent idea and one that has been recommended by all sorts of people, even purported experts. They’re wrong. Wasp spray should not be used for any purpose other than killing annoying, flying, stinging insects like wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets. I’m not saying that because of some idea

Travel safety: hotel and vacation rental edition

We talk about travel a lot because it’s fun and it’s scary. We know that transiting between places is where dangers lie, and the strategies that can keep us safe on long journeys also apply to the shorter ones we take from day to day. We haven’t talked as much at OHO about the part

What true crime teaches us

Are you a true crime fan? No shame if the answer is yes; it’s a cultural phenomenon with websites, media networks, movies, books, and communities all built up around the fascination with the dark side of what humans are capable of. Whether you have morbid curiosity about the things bad guys do, or how their

What would you do?

This picture was captured from a dashcam video sent to me by a friend, documenting an actual recent drive to work. Take a look at it just briefly, as if through a windshield, then scroll back here and read on. Did you see the man on the left? What can you tell me about him?

Do the hard things to make the easy things easier

One of the reasons I got my Honda Grom was to have a motorcycle that was easier to handle, so that I could become more proficient with all of the skills that go into riding while using a lighter, less powerful bike. Learning doesn’t have to be on hard mode, after all. Fighting equipment can

Self-defense resource center

Hey folks! Did you know that I have a Self-Defense Resource Center where I’ve collected videos and articles to get you and the people you care about up to speed quickly on a full spectrum of self-defense options? Looking for OHO greatest hits? Interested in other topics? Let me know what’s missing that you’re always

BJJ and the power of showing up

This weekend marked four years since I formally started my Brazilian jiu-jitsu journey with Precision Jiu-Jitsu, after getting a jump start from Antifragile Training and Armed Dynamics. I’ve talked before about how BJJ can be an effective route to learning how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, and to learning resilience and grit through physical

How to perform a root cause analysis, and why

When something, anything, bad happens, it’s easy to attribute it to the most obvious and direct cause. A car crash because someone ran a red light. A skinned knee because you fell. A broken window because a kid threw a ball. Addressing those causes can be a quick fix. Punish the driver who ran the

Responsibility, connection, and meaning

What are you responsible for in life? Who are you responsible to and for? While this is On Her Own, where many of us don’t have the normal relationships most folks expect, that doesn’t mean we exist in total isolation because some of us are caretakers for children or other adults. Sometimes, though, it really

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