On Her Own

Self-Defense

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To do or not to do: that is the question

How do you decide something is worth doing? One of my followers asked me about deciding whether or not they should get a motorcycle, but the question makes me think about all sorts of other decisions too. They can be big ones like whether you should get married or move in with a significant other,

Boundaries 101

At its core, self defense is really about establishing and enforcing boundaries on your life. It’s deciding what someone can and can’t do with your body, mind, and heart, and then enforcing those limits against those who would intrude. It’s often easy to decide some of the big boundaries: Nobody gets to kill me. Nobody

Step 4: Profit!!

This past weekend, I spent two days with John Hearne of Two Pillars Training. Advertised as separate classes, Saturday was all about examining the characteristics of people who win in violent fights, and how we can learn from them to increase our own odds of success if we face that worst day ourselves. Sunday, we

I am Iron Man

We’ve spent a lot of time lately talking about the kinds of self-defense training and mindset that can and can’t keep you safe. The skills you have and the ways you think are not the only factors in what I like to call full-spectrum self-defense or full-spectrum personal safety, though. Tools can have a part

On prioritizing safety and self-defense

Time is our most precious commodity. Once it’s gone, we can’t get it back. My friend, John Johnston (Citizens Defense Research), likes to tell students that when he teaches, and it’s both his gratitude for the time you’ve spent in class and a warning to spend your time wisely. It’s connected to that idea of

In the words of William Aprill

I’d like to pause today to remember Dr. William Aprill. His work influenced mine enormously, and long-time readers will recognize my frequent references to him. He passed away two years ago this past weekend, and I still frequently catch myself picking up my phone to text him a question. Instead of my words today, I’d

So what now? Moving from feeling safe to being safe

So what’s the solution? I’ve told you this week about a few things that don’t work to help you be safe. Even though those strategies might make you feel better, they’re unlikely to make much, if any, difference at all when a bad guy shows up. It sounds pretty hopeless, but knowing is half the

The mindset balancing act

There is a duality among women that I and others have observed. We either are extremely reluctant to recognize that violence exists in the world and that we may need to be violent to resist it, or we are extremely confident that we will be able to respond with force and effectiveness against the evils

Self-defense classes hit it all wrong

‘Tis the season for women’s self-defense seminars. I’ve seen them run year-round, but they seem especially popular this time of year, as girls prepare to move away from home for the first time and go off to college. Anybody can run one, so there’s a lot of variation in content and quality. One of the

AMA: Volume 2 – On getting fit and starting BJJ

Physical fitness and Brazilian jiu-jitsu also came up in my AMA, and no surprises there. As one of my followers said, we know fitness is important for self-defense and general health. I’ve talked before about how it can be an important part of being able to stop a bad guy, but also about how being

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