On Her Own

Self-Defense

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BJJ and the power of showing up

This weekend marked four years since I formally started my Brazilian jiu-jitsu journey with Precision Jiu-Jitsu, after getting a jump start from Antifragile Training and Armed Dynamics. I’ve talked before about how BJJ can be an effective route to learning how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, and to learning resilience and grit through physical

How to perform a root cause analysis, and why

When something, anything, bad happens, it’s easy to attribute it to the most obvious and direct cause. A car crash because someone ran a red light. A skinned knee because you fell. A broken window because a kid threw a ball. Addressing those causes can be a quick fix. Punish the driver who ran the

Responsibility, connection, and meaning

What are you responsible for in life? Who are you responsible to and for? While this is On Her Own, where many of us don’t have the normal relationships most folks expect, that doesn’t mean we exist in total isolation because some of us are caretakers for children or other adults. Sometimes, though, it really

Losing on your own terms

All of us come to the personal safety and self-defense world for different reasons. Some of us have been targeted by violence, or know someone who has. Some of us have seen it first-hand or in the news. Some of us came to be interested more academically, knowing it exists in theory but perhaps not

Why it’s good to be a news junkie

As I have some things going on in OHO-land, we’re rerunning today. If you’ve been with me long enough to remember this post from two years ago, thank you! And if not, I’m glad you joined me in the meantime 🙂—How many of you check in on your local news on a regular basis? I’m

The Alpinist

Mountain climbers fascinate me, especially solo climbers, who pit themselves against nature with minimal equipment and support. When I watch them climb, I see individuals who face brutal conditions and survive, even thrive and feed off the triumph of overcoming them. They pursue goals that may seem meaningless to many of us, by working their

How your self-defense strategy will fail

On Monday, I encouraged you to challenge yourself when you train for self-defense. The general idea of learning how to solve problems under pressure so that you are resilient against an attacker is an important one, but sometimes it can be difficult to imagine exactly what kinds of issues might come up. Today, we’ll explore

Why you need to prepare to fail

For most of us, preparing for self-defense starts with imagining a particular type of bad guy and attack, and continues with visualizing a specific outcome that we want. It can be as simple as anticipating a nasty remark our nemesis might toss our way one morning and planning the witty and cutting reply we’ll spit

How to be harder to find

Have you ever thought about who can find out where you live, what your phone number is, and other details of your daily existence? For many people, it’s not terribly important who knows these things, as long as nobody gets too creepy about encroaching inappropriately. What that looks like is a little fuzzy to those

How to secure your home when you’re away

When I collect news stories to post on Instagram and Twitter (are you following me there? @onherownlife for both), themes often pop up. Whether it’s the media paying more attention to a certain type of oddball event after they’ve seen it once, me doing the same, or some kind of weird zeitgeist where a kind

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